In this thing together..

Just take my hand... do you trust me? Come by my side and walk with me come know me. This is my relationship with the Lord! It's a sweet disposition, I am being and i have been pursed by the most amazing Man to ever walk this Earth. Every single day i take him for granted. I think past all the good and focus on the bad, i nag i bitch and i complain that he hasn't come through for me even though time and time again he has shown himself to be faithful. Song of Solomon i think describes it best in chapter 2 verse 3 ³Like an apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved [shepherd] among the sons [cried the girl]! Under his shadow I delighted to sit, and his fruit was sweet to my taste. Do you know what the roots to this tree are... they are faith. Faith is believing in that which is unseen. My beloved savior, lover and friend... our relationship is solely based on faith. Faith in his word(The Holy Bible) faith in who he is ( the Son of God) and faith in all he says that he is(Jehovah,Yahweh,Elohim,Emmanuel...check the cheesy website ...http://www.lillyofthevalleyva.com/jesuslovesyou-godsnames-complist.html).

Do i know this man, do i know this Lord, is my relationship with him built on anything other truth? He is ABBA father, how do i know he won't just leave like my earthly father? I know because he wants nothing but good for his children he wants nothing but, His words says that he will never leave me nor forsake me. (Deuteronomy 31:6) I know this because he takes of all of our needs and not just ours but the birds and he beautifully clothes the Lilly's (Luke 12:22-32).

Learning to trust the man you love is hard when you don't know how to trust. Yet when the Man you love teaches you how to trust fully and completely you have nothing left to hold you back except for yourself! i realized that a relationship takes more than one person... it's give and take you can't go in it alone. The Lord told me today that we are in this thing together...

the choice

i see it, i know it's there don't wanna deal with it just wanna walk away so far that it is off in the distance and blurred to my sight. i take a step back and it takes a step forward... just let me be let me go instead it's grip gets tighter . i close my eyes and it goes away... at least for a little then all of a sudden it comes back up vomit with the taste on the back of your tongue but this time it's not going to go away it's never going to leave. Today you have a choice of either holding on or walking this out of your life.

the choice is yours... well really it's mine.

choose.

Two more Days!!!

Since it has taken me all day to get ready and get out of my house the best place for me to venture to is where else but to one of the many local coffee shops in beautiful Nashville. It's a gorgeous summer day a few clouds in the sky but just right amount for a day like today. Sipping a well steeped chai it's about time for me to reflect on life.

In less than 48 hours i will be venturing into the land of the mid 20's ... at least that's how i feel since 25 means you a quarter of a century old. why is it this is the last birthday i am actually looking forward to? to be honest it's because from here on out i'm just getting closer to 30, 40 , then 50...this birthday is slowly turning into a much dreaded day.... not really but i have to be a little dramatic about lol!!!

For only turning 25 i feel like i have lived a lot of life. I feel like i've seen high's and lows of life. However if i had see it all i guess i still wouldn't be here lol! I am so thankful for the Life i have so freely been given to live and i am so thankful for the people that have walked this life along with me. I am so excited for the next 25 years to come. I am excited to see who it is that Lord has to walk with me through those years and i so excited to see and live the parts of life that i have yet to experience!!!

So here's to another birthday, here's to another 25 years and here's to living the dream that Lord has placed in your heart!!!

-Jazz

The Posing of Questions ???

Sitting in a local coffee you alway see people working studying living. Today i don't feel among the living, not that i feel among the dead, i feel among the lost. As one of those lost amongst themselves deep inside of there own self conscience.( i know this sounds like inception but really it's about being lost in your own reality. Lost in what you know as truth.

All of my life people have told me that there is a plan and a purpose for my life. I know this is true because i have seen the Lord move on my behalf in my life He has saved me from so much and has brought me to a place of pure brokenness before him. Yet even though i know these things to be true you can't see the fruit from it in my life you can't see any of it. If it is true that you live your life by what you believe to be true then i believe that emptiness, apathy, and confusion are the way they way to God. I have been living my life on E(empty). My glass isn't even half full most days... just kind of going and going try to be who am supposed to be without any guidance or real direction.

The reason for this is simple... I DON'T TRUST HIM!!! and by Him i mean the source the only thing in life worth living for. It has nothing to do with me not wanting to trust it has everything to do with not knowing how to trust. I don't know how to look to him as a loving father when i never had one. is that an excuse no it's just the deep rooted issue of the truth. There is no trust on my part which therefore means there is no confidence in who is.

However this question was posed to me today... "what would you do if nothing (time, money, education,etc.) were an obstacle and you had full confidence in God?" Phil.4:8 says

^"8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things arejust, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things."

Today i choose to meditate on theses things...still not really knowing how to answer the question that was posed to or even how to trust God or to have confidence in him. there will be more on this to come i know the Lord is speaking to me and i know i just have to my ear to his words... choosing faith and choosing obedience over my own desire and my own will.

Please pray for me as i walk through this Journey of healing of hope and of understanding.

-Jazz

Labels on life!

My life has always been filled with colorful things from my wardrobe to my thinking! I've come to enjoy life with some pretty colorful people as well!! i've lived a life full of hmm what could possibly happen in my life next, what is going to be the next thing that I am supposed to do... in life i look forward to the daily gifts that the Father gives ... the endless possibilities for surprise and being Flexible.

Been doing some thinking lately... what is the culture i've embraced as my own? looking at basic things; the way i dress, the type of music i love, how much i love the everyday pleasures of life, as well as the i think about life in color instead of black and white. i am a firm believer that God created people to create, He placed you on the planet for a reason not just sit around and do nothing with the short time He has so kindly given you!

I never thought i would be one to say such things but after spend some good quality time evaluating my life, my style, really just who i am and the way i think about life.. i have come to the conclusion that i am a hipster!!! lol no worries so are all of my friends. I am not alone in this life of discovering who i am as a person and who i am in Christ! Being a hipster is a subculture it's not just a look, it's kind of a way of life...that is if you want to put labels on things...lol!

For those of you who need some reference for what i am talking about here's a little help from urbandictionary.com

www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hipster

it's first the one up there, a little long but you will get the idea.

Happy labeling,

Jazz

it's a new season

so i started writing again... today i am choosing to let the Lord flow through me and see what happens. Since moving to Nashville that thing i wanted to pursue was music ... but today i am going to write...

TODAY I DON'T WANT TO BE AN ADULT.... JUST WANT TO BE A KID!!!! YOU I DO!!!!

Let's talk about the Girl Talk!!!

Ladies ladies ladies!!! I had an amazing conversation with a friend today. (thanks for the pool time KB) So here's the question.. how many of you out there are plain and simply amazing...the kind of girl any guy should be so happy to even have in his presence..lol... well maybe not that amazing... but how many of you think to yourself " man i'm cute, i have great things going for me... i am so worth it! And yet you always find yourself short of getting a boys number and if you do get hit on it's cause he was a real creeper... Ladies I know i'm not the only one out there. So it's true girls can be intimidating we can be overwhelming in numbers...but how many of you really hang out with that many girls...don't get me wrong i love my girls but when we go out it's rarely just us girls hanging it's always the crew...which happens to include a group pretty good looking guys(ex.A above) that none of us would ever date cause well they are the safe zone(sorry guys...but it's true). However i have never in my life been a place of life where i can't get a date any i discovered why the other day and a few friends have had the same epiphany.. we look taken ... ladies we have unknowingly placed ourselves in the off limits zone and these guys are the reason why. Am i saying you shouldn't have guy friends absolutely NOT! I am saying we need to be open and when you allow yourself to be open the right opportunity may just fly right by you cause you wanted to hang with the guys. I love my guys friends they are some of the most amazing characters i know... they keep life in perspective... they protect you like a brother would to his sister but Ladies you shouldn't want to date your brother. These guys are gentlemen and even when they're not you still love 'em. The moral in all of this keep your self open and available to be swept off your feet and not covered up by a group of hott body guards who you aren't with!!!

LIFE

i gotta get, i gotta get out of my head..

where do you go when you don't know how to feel

who do you turn to when you need some arms to weep into

i gotta get out , i gotta let go of my heart

trying to remove it from my sleeve

need to move it back into my chest

don't even feel like it still beats

gotta run free gotta get free

need to move need to shake need to dance

NEED TO FEEL!!