Sunday, February 21, 2010

LIFE

i gotta get, i gotta get out of my head..
where do you go when you don't know how to feel
who do you turn to when you need some arms to weep into

i gotta get out , i gotta let go of my heart
trying to remove it from my sleeve
need to move it back into my chest
don't even feel like it still beats

gotta run free gotta get free
need to move need to shake need to dance
NEED TO FEEL!!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

My Valentine from my LOVE!!!

You're My Beloved-Kari Jobe

You're my beloved, you're my bride
to sing over you is my delight
Come away with me my love

Under my mercy come and wait
Still we are standing face to face
I see no stain in you my child

You're beautiful to me
so beautiful to me

I sing over you my song of peace
Cast all your cares down at my feet
Come and find your rest in me

I'll breathe my life inside of you
I'll bear you up on eagle's wings
And hide you in the shadows of my strength

I'll take you to my Quite waters
I'll restore your soul
Come rest in me and be made whole

You're my Beloved, you're my bride
To sing over you is my delight
Come away with me my Love!

I just got back from an amazing trip to LA with my amazing friend Marisha! We got to spend all of about 72 hrs in the beautiful sunshine and with some of our amazing friends( Cameron & Chuck best Valentines a girl could ask for). Yesterday was one of those days where you actually feel what has been going on in your life all at once. I've become so numb to so much in the past six months, that i didn't know what it meant to feel and have real emotions(other than bitterness,confusion&anger). In the moment of the most amazing sunset i have ever experienced i felt. i didn't just feel a little i felt it all. I felt every bit of anger, resentment, worthlessness, frustration, pain, hopelessness, etc. down to the joy of the Lord and knowing his arms were around me. Having for the first time a true since on security. In the moments of despair and crying in the backseat of the car i know that Lord was there and even if know one else got it i new he was crying with me. We where having a funeral.
The old me is dead and gone and I am a new creation in Christ! Life might be crappy but i know the Lord has me. I know that he is so much greater than anything this world has to throw at me. I took some time and actually looked at my tattoos today, they all have a meaning and are things the Lord has spoken to me(other than the one on my back lol). The song lyrics above are something that was spoken over me several years and since have continued to be one way the Lord reminds me of his promises He has from. The Word beloved is tattooed on the inside of my wrist. The Lord has been screaming this at me and i've just kinda tuned it out, that i am his beloved. The exact lyrics in this song is everything Jesus has been speaking to me... come away with me.. you're beautiful, my beloved, my bride, i will restore you...all of it!!! I just go it!!!! I needed to go to LA for the Lord to shake me.. so i would stop and listen and this is what he said
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3c9oi5xNIpo

Sunday, February 7, 2010

A Lady in Waiting.

I have decided i have resolved
to wait upon you Lord
My rock and redeemer shield and reward
I'll wait upon you Lord ...

Wait is the resounding word i keep hearing from the Lord... These past few weeks of life have been crazy... they have been a little bit of trial by fire. I've felt alone and abandoned I've felt blamed, worthless, ugly, unclean, out casted, confused,bent, broken, numb, yet at the same time I've felt comforted, loved, fought for, blessed, bliss, redeemed, directed,protected, highly favored. I've felt the roller coaster of life and the emptiness the world has to offer. I've tasted the fullness of the Lord and i want more...I want so much more..

So what could i say
What could i do
But offer this heart Oh God
Completely to YOU!!!

Wait for the Lord; Be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.
Psalm 27:14

So i wait, i choose to wait. I am trusting and believing, I am taking hold of my inheritance and i am claiming back all the devil has stolen, I am choosing joy in all things. I am believing in faith for HUGE dreams BIG vision. I wait on God I wait on my Love to lead me to guide into glory into His will.